i am obsessed with pablo neruda.

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

gershwin.

oh, darlin'

i was blind to let you go.

(let you go, baby)

of these things, i am absolutely certain:

1. i love j. crew outlets. just going into one of them today briefly was complete sensory overload. i can't imagine what havoc i'd be able to wreak if i was in one for, i don't know, an entire day. just thinking about it makes me giddy.

2. i am tanner than i was 4 days ago.

3. i have a newly found fascination with the tudors. or at least, philippa gregory's tudor novels. and maybe historical novels in general. maybe.

4. my hair is too long. like i sort of feel like, if i wanted to, i could join fit in with the hair tribe with their wigs on and such. shameful.

5. i want panera to just call me already. or else i'm going to apply at medieval times.

6. i'm not cool. but we already knew that, didn't we?

7. my ipod ear buds are filled with sand. how this came to pass, i'm uncertain. but it's annoying.

8. i need to stop being such a loser and read the rest of the harry potter books since i stopped reading them at prisoner of azkaban. i feel so out of place in the world.

9. i can't stop coughing. or eating. but i can control that. sort of.

10. i want these shoes.