because erin did it.

Don't tell me lies, so where's your girl/guy?
somewhere out there for me to find.

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
shit if i know.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
possibly.

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life?
it depends on when you ask. sometimes, i'd say i'm very much content. other times, though, i'd say there are things i'm not too satisfied with.

Do you like taking walks?
long walks on the beach? yes. get at me.

Could you go the rest of your life without doing any drugs?
yes.

Do you miss anyone in your life?
well isn't that the understatement of the year.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?
she wishes.

Do you get drunk every weekend?
no.

Are you shy or outgoing?
depends on the sitch.

How old is the last person you kissed?
19.

Are caterpillars more cute or disgusting?
it depends on which kind we're talking here.

Are you one of those people who constantly check the time?
not really.

Do you ever get motion sickness?
on long car rides whilst reading.

Are you happier now than you were last year?
in some ways.

Would you rather be a blonde or a brunette?
a brunette. what i am now.

Are you a fan of Will Smith?
he's the man.

Do you frequently take naps?
i love naps!

What's the closest liquid object to you?
a diet pepsi.

Have you ever gotten a crazy color dyed into your hair?
no. my hair is yet to be profaned by dye.

Would you ever paint your room walls black?
no. i like them blue, thanks.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
yes.

When is the next time you'll wash your hair?
tomorrow morning.

In the past 72 hours have you been under the influence of alcohol?
no.

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
it depends on who it is.

Why did you take the last pill you took?
motrin. just now.

Do you smile alot?
yes.

Anyone you were good friends with, that you no longer get along with?
yes.

Where is your biological father right now?
downstairs chillin.

Someone knocks on your window at 2 am, who do you want it to be?
it better be leonardo dicaprio. no one else should dare to disturb my slumber.

What do you want right now?
you. and like a milky way bar.

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
motrin.

Most memorable thing that's happened to you so far this summer?
june 21st.

The last person you kissed, do they love you?
entire essays could be written answering this question. like, this should be a question on an AP test.

Do you know what your name would have been if you were opposite sex?
andrew. creative.

Do you have any twins in your family?
i think so. like distant relatives.

Have you ever talked on the phone in the shower/ bathtub?
in the bathtub hahaha.

Do you just want to yell in someone's face right now?
not really.

Was today a good day?
i enjoyed it.

Has this week been a good one?
it has.

What were you doing at midnight last night?
sleeping.

Did anything "cute" happen today?
no.

Have you ever kissed a blonde haired, blue eyed person?
no. i'm not a nazi.

Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette?
noo.

Would you lie to the police if it would save your best friend's life?
yeah.

Last reason you cried?
the same reason i've been crying for a month.

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
sleeping.

What were you doing at 4am?
sleeping.

Can you honestly say that things are running smoothly for you?
ehh i don't know about that.

Are promises important to you?
yes.

Are you a jealous person?
not really.

Are you in a good mood?
i sort of have a headache.

Have you ever dated someone more than once?
no.

Has anyone ever called you a whore?
jokingly, semi-jokingly, and probably just a little bit behind my back.

Is the last person you kissed black?
he wishes.

Whats the last song you sang?
diva by beyonce. hahaha.

Think back to the last person you held hands with, would you kiss them?
no.

Do you have feelings for someone?
honestly? yes. do i want to? no.

If someone said, "I don't talk shit about people," would you believe them?
i guess so.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
i have no idea.

Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
nobody reads this except for erin. hahaha.

Is there someone who you instantly smile when you talk to them?
yes.

Do you have a Formspring?
yes. but i used it for like 10 seconds.

If you had a plane ticket to anywhere, where would you go?
anywhere, i imagine.

Where are you right now?
my bed.

Is anything bothering you?
yes.

Are you trying to avoid liking/loving somebody at the moment?
i'd say so.

Is there someone that you miss right now?
ugh yes. you asked this already.

When was the last time you wore jeans?
i don't remember.

When is the last time you saw number 2 on your top friends?
top friends? what is this, 2004?

Will you be up before 7am tomorrow?
god i hope not.

When you cry, do your eyes change colors?
they get bluer.

Does your middle name begin with a A, M, or S?
nuh uh.

Have you ever got a D or F on your report card?
no.

What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
shore.

After breaking up, whats worse; knowing you still care about them or pretending you hate them?
how about knowing you still care about them but pretending everything is all right. that's worse.

Where is the one boy/girl you want to see the most right now?
ehh.

How many piercings/..tattoos do you have?
1 in each ear.

If the last person you kissed arrived at your house at 3am what would you do?
shit would go down.

Have you made a mistake in the past week?
yes.

If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted mansion, would you?
oh my gosh i don't know.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months?
yeah.

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
yes. unfortunately.

What's on your feet?
nothing.

If you were getting married, who would be your best man?
erin smith.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
yes.

If your ex said they hate you, you say:
you are such an idiot. like, really.

What are you supposed to be doing right now?
nothing.

Can you play guitar hero?
yes i'm amazing.

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
warm.

Where's the weirdest place you've slept?
on a plane.

dear you know who,

i miss you so much. i still cry sometimes. i still feel that lump in the back of my throat i felt on the phone with you that terrible morning. i don't think you'll ever know how much i cared about you. how happy you made me. how wonderful those entire days we spent together were for me. i'd give anything to go back and live through just one of them again. just one. but i will never tell you this because you made your decision a month ago. and don't think if you come a'crawling back in the fall i'll be there with open arms. believe me, i want to be. i still love you and you know that. but you don't deserve something that simple. i don't want you to think it's okay to be so fickle.

sincerely (but honestly, cautious love),
laura

hey, mona lisa.

this post consisted of a lot of wannabe poetic complainey embarrassing bullshit. so it was eradicated.

pms much?

so i've been really happy this week until today. i don't know what it is about today but i've just been really emotional about everything. i think it was a comment one of my friends made. she told me i don't have a life because i don't participate in any clubs and activities and that i'm going to have nothing to put on my resume. okay, so that doesn't sound like anything too terrible. and at first i didn't think it was and sort of laughed it off like "oh, whatever". but then i started thinking about it and realized that i haven't really done anything with this incredible chance i've been given at college. i've procrastinated on facebook and put off studying for things that won't really matter in the long run. while she is out doing all of these awesome things like raising awareness and recycling, i'm sitting in my room talking to people who won't affect my life in any way other than by giving me a few minutes of useless conversation on chat roulette. i'm watching the office with my friends who, like me, don't do anything that will make a difference. i'm a member of one group on campus, the lutheran student association, but even then i've only been to one meeting this semester. i haven't been doing anything important. i complain about not being able to sing here, but i don't get up and do anything about it and try out for the groups that i want to try out for. i want to make a difference, but i'm too busy sitting in my room bitching about my problems on this thing to really take a step in that direction. and that makes me incredibly sad. i'm not the person i thought i was. i sort of hate myself at the moment and i'm crying and i just don't know what the fuck i'm doing anymore.

the most beautiful songs of all time

i love college, but more on that later.

first, i feel like making a list of the most beautiful songs ever. why? because i don't want to do my math homework (yet).

11. wake up - arcade fire
i fall in love with this song more and more every time i hear it. i recently heard a live version of it with david bowie. it made me want to cry. it was so fantastically amazing.

10. samson - regina spektor
it's hard to just pick one regina spektor song for this list. she is an artist in every sense of the word and i could probably listen to her all day. but samson is regina at her best: poetic lyrics accompanied by simple piano. it doesn't get any better.

9. dreams never end - new order
i am a sucker for new wave. something about this song is a revelation to me. i think it's the epic buildup followed by the frantic drum beat. i love it, i love it.

8. bixby canyon bridge - death cab for cutie
it's just beautiful. i don't know how to explain it. it almost has a mystical quality to it. when you're listening to it, it takes you somewhere else entirely.

7. i miss you - blink-182
i've loved this song for a long time. i think a lot of people would disagree with my saying it's beautiful (i mean, it is a blink song), but there's just something about it that i love and find to be so endearing.

6. somewhere only we know - keane
i love keane and i don't care who knows it. this song is gorgeous.

5. age of consent - new order
this list needed another new order song. this song makes me think of summertime. it's my goal in life to put on this song in a convertible going along some amazing looking road.

4. clair de lune - debussy
shut up about the twilight nonsense. this somg was beautiful before kristen stewart was awkward. listening to it is almost a spiritual experience. it makes me so emotional without having any lyrics whatsoever. debussy was a genius.

3. jurassic park theme - john towner williams
it's hard to just pick one williams for this list. the jurassic park theme is an obvious standout. i dare you to not get goosebumps. who would have thought a movie about an island with dinosaurs would make for such a beautiful song?

2. symphony no. 3 in c minor, op. 78: organ finale - saint saens
incredibly majestic. you may recognize it as the score from the movie babe. but it was originally composed by saint saens for organ and is a gorgeous piece of french composition. (i love french composers)

and now, the moment we've all been waiting for.

1. life in technicolor & life in technicolor ii - coldplay
this is a bit of a controversial number one, i know. not everyone likes coldplay. i'm not even the biggest coldplay fan in the whole entire world, but this song makes me feel so alive, i can't help but think it's the most beautiful song i've ever heard.

another dream just now!

i dreamed that there was this woman staying with us in a weird version of our house (like i had a brother). she was very charming, and my "brother" really liked her. one day, though, i decided to look her up on the internet and i realized that she looked exactly the same as this wanted serial killer who had killed dozens of people by using her charm to get close to them. i showed my parents, and they sort of believed me but found her too charming to actually join me in doing something about it. so i came up with this really stupid plot to get her arrested. i just called the police and told them to take her. for some odd reason, it worked and she was arrested. the police, though, were this really strange kind of police and they didn't have any guns or anything legit. she flirted a lot with the policeman who was supposed to be looking after her. he, consequently, didn't pay much attention to what she was doing and it looked really easy for her to escape. i became terrified for my life, naturally. then for some reason, we got on a train. as we got on, the woman mouthed across the train at me "you better look out" while making a gun with her hand at me. then i woke up.

i need to write this dream down.

i just woke up from one of the scariest dreams ever. like, omg. i feel the need to write it down here so i don't forget it.

it all started out at an airport. it seemed normal enough, except some of the planes used indoor combined with outdoor runways. that was odd, but whatever. okay. so i arrive at my location, which is this big city i don't recognize. for some reason, i decide to take the bus to wherever i'm going. on the way, the bus breaks down in the middle of nowhere by this heavily forested area. all of a sudden, everybody on the bus hears this yelling coming from the woods and all of these really loud gunshots. i hear this woman screaming "no! no! don't do this!", but they don't seem to listen and she becomes silent. some characters (the ones responsible for the gunshots) emerge from the woods and see our bus. they yell "oh, there's an entire bus! that's perfect!" then they run onto the bus, start yelling something inaudible, and kill both the driver and one of the passengers. everyone on the bus is absolutely terrified, naturally. they then start whispering to each other about something, and one of them turns around and yells to the entire bus "we're coming around with a clipboard! we'll ask you a simple question, and you'll answer it." since i'm on around the middle of the bus, it takes a while for them to come to me. i observe the terrified faces of the other passengers as the men sit down and ask whatever question they're asking. they finally come to me. the question is "would you rather live confined, never seeing your family or anyone you love ever again or die?" i am obviously very taken aback by this question. i start crying and choose the first option. i take a look at the list of passengers, and it looks like they are taking note of where each passenger is sitting and the choices they made. many chose the first option like me, but some chose to die. after this, we are all taken to this abandoned warehouse looking building and asked to line up according to which seat we were in. there are all of these nooses lined up in rows. for some reason, i have to go first. my noose is abnormally large, and so are some of the others. they tell me to put my arms through the loop before i stick my neck in and they remove the platform i was standing on. i am left in this hanging position.

and then i woke up.... i don't know if this dream will continue or not. but it's so weird and scary.