the most beautiful songs of all time

i love college, but more on that later.

first, i feel like making a list of the most beautiful songs ever. why? because i don't want to do my math homework (yet).

11. wake up - arcade fire
i fall in love with this song more and more every time i hear it. i recently heard a live version of it with david bowie. it made me want to cry. it was so fantastically amazing.

10. samson - regina spektor
it's hard to just pick one regina spektor song for this list. she is an artist in every sense of the word and i could probably listen to her all day. but samson is regina at her best: poetic lyrics accompanied by simple piano. it doesn't get any better.

9. dreams never end - new order
i am a sucker for new wave. something about this song is a revelation to me. i think it's the epic buildup followed by the frantic drum beat. i love it, i love it.

8. bixby canyon bridge - death cab for cutie
it's just beautiful. i don't know how to explain it. it almost has a mystical quality to it. when you're listening to it, it takes you somewhere else entirely.

7. i miss you - blink-182
i've loved this song for a long time. i think a lot of people would disagree with my saying it's beautiful (i mean, it is a blink song), but there's just something about it that i love and find to be so endearing.

6. somewhere only we know - keane
i love keane and i don't care who knows it. this song is gorgeous.

5. age of consent - new order
this list needed another new order song. this song makes me think of summertime. it's my goal in life to put on this song in a convertible going along some amazing looking road.

4. clair de lune - debussy
shut up about the twilight nonsense. this somg was beautiful before kristen stewart was awkward. listening to it is almost a spiritual experience. it makes me so emotional without having any lyrics whatsoever. debussy was a genius.

3. jurassic park theme - john towner williams
it's hard to just pick one williams for this list. the jurassic park theme is an obvious standout. i dare you to not get goosebumps. who would have thought a movie about an island with dinosaurs would make for such a beautiful song?

2. symphony no. 3 in c minor, op. 78: organ finale - saint saens
incredibly majestic. you may recognize it as the score from the movie babe. but it was originally composed by saint saens for organ and is a gorgeous piece of french composition. (i love french composers)

and now, the moment we've all been waiting for.

1. life in technicolor & life in technicolor ii - coldplay
this is a bit of a controversial number one, i know. not everyone likes coldplay. i'm not even the biggest coldplay fan in the whole entire world, but this song makes me feel so alive, i can't help but think it's the most beautiful song i've ever heard.

another dream just now!

i dreamed that there was this woman staying with us in a weird version of our house (like i had a brother). she was very charming, and my "brother" really liked her. one day, though, i decided to look her up on the internet and i realized that she looked exactly the same as this wanted serial killer who had killed dozens of people by using her charm to get close to them. i showed my parents, and they sort of believed me but found her too charming to actually join me in doing something about it. so i came up with this really stupid plot to get her arrested. i just called the police and told them to take her. for some odd reason, it worked and she was arrested. the police, though, were this really strange kind of police and they didn't have any guns or anything legit. she flirted a lot with the policeman who was supposed to be looking after her. he, consequently, didn't pay much attention to what she was doing and it looked really easy for her to escape. i became terrified for my life, naturally. then for some reason, we got on a train. as we got on, the woman mouthed across the train at me "you better look out" while making a gun with her hand at me. then i woke up.

i need to write this dream down.

i just woke up from one of the scariest dreams ever. like, omg. i feel the need to write it down here so i don't forget it.

it all started out at an airport. it seemed normal enough, except some of the planes used indoor combined with outdoor runways. that was odd, but whatever. okay. so i arrive at my location, which is this big city i don't recognize. for some reason, i decide to take the bus to wherever i'm going. on the way, the bus breaks down in the middle of nowhere by this heavily forested area. all of a sudden, everybody on the bus hears this yelling coming from the woods and all of these really loud gunshots. i hear this woman screaming "no! no! don't do this!", but they don't seem to listen and she becomes silent. some characters (the ones responsible for the gunshots) emerge from the woods and see our bus. they yell "oh, there's an entire bus! that's perfect!" then they run onto the bus, start yelling something inaudible, and kill both the driver and one of the passengers. everyone on the bus is absolutely terrified, naturally. they then start whispering to each other about something, and one of them turns around and yells to the entire bus "we're coming around with a clipboard! we'll ask you a simple question, and you'll answer it." since i'm on around the middle of the bus, it takes a while for them to come to me. i observe the terrified faces of the other passengers as the men sit down and ask whatever question they're asking. they finally come to me. the question is "would you rather live confined, never seeing your family or anyone you love ever again or die?" i am obviously very taken aback by this question. i start crying and choose the first option. i take a look at the list of passengers, and it looks like they are taking note of where each passenger is sitting and the choices they made. many chose the first option like me, but some chose to die. after this, we are all taken to this abandoned warehouse looking building and asked to line up according to which seat we were in. there are all of these nooses lined up in rows. for some reason, i have to go first. my noose is abnormally large, and so are some of the others. they tell me to put my arms through the loop before i stick my neck in and they remove the platform i was standing on. i am left in this hanging position.

and then i woke up.... i don't know if this dream will continue or not. but it's so weird and scary.

things i'm not:

pretty, poised, perfect.

more than sometimes, i hate being me.

manic depression

after a myriad 3 hour naps, too much time spent playing the sims, countless vlogbrothers videos viewed (NERDFIGHTERS!), and entirely too many songs/jokes memorized from a very potter musical, it is beginning to seem as if my life is going nowhere. oh, how i pine for 13 (give or take) days from now when my life will suddenly become new and exciting. i haven't started packing yet at all. sweet.

it has been awhile

i type this blog post to you on the backlit, ergonomically correct keyboard of my new macbook pro. i am in love with it. it's definitely the best computer i've ever owned. but enough about my love for apple and their magnificent products.

i'm going to college in a few weeks, much to the dismay of my parents. they're (well, my mom) going to be so sad to see me go. i'm an only child, so they've always been a lot more protective/neurotic than a lot of my friends' parents. i'm nervous, but more excited than anything, i think. i'm so looking forward to the fact that i'll be able to reinvent myself to be whoever i want to be in college. like, it's so large that i can really "put myself out there". i've always hated that phrase: put yourself out there. it's cliche. but it's definitely what i'm looking to do in my definitive college years.

my love life is still as stark and barren as usual, but i have hope for college. i mean, there will be thousands of eligible males to choose from (hopefully all of them won't be drunken frat boys). i think when it comes to having a love-life, i'm semi-retarded. i lack the ability to flirt. like, i'm terrible at flirting. i just don't know how. i hate pretending to be stupid and eyelid fluttery. because i am neither of these things. i'm terrible at knowing whether or not somebody is flirting with me, too. like, i know girls are supposed to be super perceptive about that kind of thing, but i'm just not. i'm just sort of my (awkward) self all the time.

well, this has been a thoroughly random blog post. welcome back, kotter.

i am obsessed with pablo neruda.

I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

gershwin.

oh, darlin'

i was blind to let you go.

(let you go, baby)

of these things, i am absolutely certain:

1. i love j. crew outlets. just going into one of them today briefly was complete sensory overload. i can't imagine what havoc i'd be able to wreak if i was in one for, i don't know, an entire day. just thinking about it makes me giddy.

2. i am tanner than i was 4 days ago.

3. i have a newly found fascination with the tudors. or at least, philippa gregory's tudor novels. and maybe historical novels in general. maybe.

4. my hair is too long. like i sort of feel like, if i wanted to, i could join fit in with the hair tribe with their wigs on and such. shameful.

5. i want panera to just call me already. or else i'm going to apply at medieval times.

6. i'm not cool. but we already knew that, didn't we?

7. my ipod ear buds are filled with sand. how this came to pass, i'm uncertain. but it's annoying.

8. i need to stop being such a loser and read the rest of the harry potter books since i stopped reading them at prisoner of azkaban. i feel so out of place in the world.

9. i can't stop coughing. or eating. but i can control that. sort of.

10. i want these shoes.

RIP

dear everyone who gave me a graduation gift:

i really appreciate your gifts. really, i do. you're all very, very wonderful people and i respect you all. i am very grateful for your generosity. however, writing you all thank you notes nauseates me. writing a cliche 4 sentence letter 30 times in a row, quite frankly, makes me want to punch a cocker spaniel. but it seems that not writing them is a terrible crime against humanity (at least to my mother), and i must press on or risk having everyone's perception me mutilated into a irrecognizable pulp because they think i'm a little ingrate. ugh.

procrastination at its absolute finest.

A - AVAILABLE: yes.

B - BIRTHDAY: september 6th.

C - CRUSHING ON: justin long. i just got finished watching he's just not that into you. "you're my exception" (i know the writers wrote that, but he's just so adorable)

D- DRINK YOU LAST HAD: diet pepsi.

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: my mom.

F - FAVORITE SONG: when you were young by the killers will eternally be my favorite song.

G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: sour patch kids are the only thing close to gummies i'll eat.

H - HOMETOWN: baltimore.

I - IN LOVE WITH: music.

J - JUGGLE: i've tried. and i can't.

K - KILLED SOMEONE: well, now that you mention it...

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: to florida..plus breaking down.

M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: vanilla. but milkshakes are kind of nauseating in excess.

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: none.

O - ONE WISH: a million more wishes.

P- PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: i can't remember. and my phone is so far away.

R- REASON TO SMILE: i've got nothing.

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: lady by regina spektor.

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: like 9 i think.

U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: white. and yes, i had to check.

V - VEGETABLE(S): potatoes, zucchini, squash, broccoli, asparagus. pretty much everything, actually. i love me some veggies.

W - WORST HABIT: i lose my phone all the time.

X- X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: like 3?

Y - YOYOS ARE: ma.

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: virgo.

Random Questions About You

Spell your name without vowels: lr.

Your favorite number(s): 6.

What color do you wear most?: black. or like navy blue. i like darker colors.

Least favorite color?: probably pink. i can't remember the last time i wore pink.

What are you listening to?: regina spektor on repeat.

Are you happy with your life right now?: honestly, not really. but i have hope that i will be soon.

What is your favorite class in school?: probably english. even though i probably thought differently of it when i was in it, but i feel like it really made an impact on me.

Who is your best friend?: erin.

When do you start back at school/college?: august 27th.

Favorite pair of shoes?: these really cheap bronze gladiator sandals from forever 21 that are falling apart, but i wear religiously.

Can you dance?: i suppose. depending on your definition. i can irish dance. but when it comes to the dancing that most people do my age nowadays, i'm definitely not the best. haha.

Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: ew. cherry stems would get nowhere near my mouth. ever. i hate cherries and all that they stand for.

Can you whistle?: yes! i'm no andrew bird, but i'm all right i guess.

Write with both hands?: well, i probably could if i tried. but my left hand's writing would be really disgusting.

Cross your eyes?: no. i can sort of do it and it feels like they should be, but i can't. that doesn't make any sense.

Walk with your toes curled: yes. sometimes i do that when my shoes are falling off. haha.

THE DO'S

Do you believe there is life on other planets?: i think there is.

Do you believe in miracles?: yes.

Do you believe in magic?: in a young girl's heart? no.

Do you believe in Satan?: sure. i believe he's sort of this tangible representation of all of the temptations and evils of the world.

Do you believe in Santa?: i wish.

Do you know how to swim?: yes. i love swimming.

Do you like roller coasters?: yes.

Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: actually, i probably could. just as long as by reality shows, you mean anthony bourdain's show. i'd probably eat most of it. just as long as it wasn't a plate of cherries or cake, i'd be fine.

Have you ever been on a plane?: yes.

Have you ever asked someone out?: no.

Have you ever been asked out by someone?: yes.

Have you ever been to the ocean?: yes. on numerous occasions.

Have you ever painted your nails?: yes.

THE WHATS

What is the temperature outside?: it's quite warm.

What radio station do you listen to?: 106.5, 101.1, 107.3, 103.1, 97.9

What was the last restaurant you ate at?: noodles and company.

What was the last thing you bought?: a bucket of balls. for the driving range haha.

What was the last thing on TV you watched?: wimbledon.

THE WHOS

Who was the last person you IM'd?: mary last evening.

Who was the last person you took a picture of: random family members.

Who was the last person you said I love you to?: my mudda.

CRYING SECTION

Ever really cried your heart out?: eh maybe. not my whole heart out. but most of it.

Ever cried yourself to sleep?: yes.

Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: i don't think so.

Ever cried over the opposite sex?: i actually don't think so. surprisingly. ha.

Do you cry when you get an injury?: no.

Do certain songs make you cry?: only a few.

HAPPY SECTION

Are you a happy person?: i can be.

What can make you happy?: stuff.

Do you wish you were happier?: sure.

Can music make you happy?: it definitely can. and it does.

LOVE SECTION

How many times have you had your heart broken?: i don't think i have.

Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them?: yes.

LOOK AT ME

What is your current hair color?: the darkest of browns.

What does your hair look like now?: it's a mess.

Current piercings?: 2 in each ear. but the second holes are growing back.

Eye color?: bluish green.

CURRENTLY WEARING

What shirt are you wearing?: a white tshirt.

Pants: purple pajama bottoms.

Shoes?: none.

Necklaces?: none.

IN A BOY/GIRL

Favorite eye color: i don't care.

Short or long hair: whatever looks good?

Best clothing: something that fits his personality.

HAVE YOU EVER

Been to jail: like 20 times. of course not.

Mooned someone: no.

Ran away from home: i tried to when i was little. i'd get to the end of my street and then turn around.

Thought about suicide: no.

Lauged so hard you cried: i do that all the time.

Cried in school: not like crying crying. but i've shed a tear.

Thrown up in a store: yes. chuck e cheese. oh goodness.

Wanted to be a model: hell no.

Done something really stupid that you still laugh about: all the time.

Seen a dead body: yes.

Gone skinny dipping: no.

THIS OR THAT

Pepsi or Coke: diet pepsi.

McDonald's or Burger King: mcdonald's. but only for their snack wraps and chicken mcnuggets.

Single or Group Dates?: single.

Chocolate or Vanilla: it depends on what it's in.

Strawberries or Blueberries: strawberries.

Meat or Veggies: veggies.

TV or Movie: movies if i get a choice. but travel channel is pretty much my favorite thing on tv.

Guitar or Drums: well i play guitar. but drums look really fun too.

Adidas or Nike: adidas.

Chinese or Mexican: mexican.

Cheerios or Corn Flakes: honey nut cheerios.

Cake or Pie: pie. i hate cake.

MTV or VH1: VH1 if i'm in a hasbeen watching mood, MTV if i want to watch some fake dating shows or rich teenaged brats show me their houses.

flawed.

my nose is too big, my boobs are too small, my face is too wide.
i'm too tall and proportioned awkwardly.
i squint when i smile and make weird faces without knowing i'm making them.
i eat too much and drink too little.
my hair is limp.
i'm just not cute.

blah.
at least i'm funny.

songs i have stuck in my head right now (will probably change in an hour):

musical ADD.

i enjoy

zachary quinto. and his acting. and his eyebrows. and his intelligence. and just him in general, to be perfectly honest. he's adorable.

changes.

i am the most emotional i have been about graduating right at this particular moment. the ceremony was pomp and circumstance and the graduation parties were as well. but right now, as i sit in my pajamas in my computer room typing this, i feel it.

disney world is over, and now college looms over the horizon with an unwavering air of persistence and urgency. no more talk of castles and princesses to divert my gaze from my imminent new life back to a simpler time. although my words are sometimes cliche, i mean them most of the time. looking upon that twinkling, iconic castle as i walked away from it in the magic kingdom two nights ago, i felt the already loosened tethers of my childhood finally snap into pieces. i saw the little kids around me with their parents and realized i wasn't among them anymore. everything was about to change.

and now, as i sit here wondering what the future will hold, i'm scared of leaving behind my way of life. and i'm sad that this will mean that some of the relationships i have will inevitably suffer as things change.

target: a love story

it's no secret that i'm in love with target. (well, maybe it is..) but anyhow, i love target so very, very much. i go to target for everything. clothes, books, dvds...anything.  it is like my mother ship and it calls to me. their clothes are so fresh and young. don't even get me started about their shoes and scarves. simply fantastic in every way. i could spend all day in target with my caramel machiatto/iced tea from starbucks just looking at everything. i don't even need to buy anything. just being in there makes me extremely happy. ugh. delightful. 

just so you know, i'm about to go to target. so that's the reason i felt compelled to write this. lame. 

tooth sensitivity and graduation.

my back teeth hurt like the dickens and i don't know why/what i did to deserve this. today i was trying to eat a chicken fajita buritto bowl from chipotle and it was literally painful. i winced everytime i took a bite. i'm really bummed that my chipotle experience wasn't as riveting as usual. i hope i don't have to get a scary dental procedure done. if there's one thing i hate in this world, it's scary dental procedures. and the way the dentist office smells. ick. so minty and nauseating.

i've been watching a lot of gilmore girls lately. the rory goes to college episodes. they're getting me excited. and yes, i know that my college experience will more than likely not resemble hers seeing as she attends yale and i'll be attending a division 1 public university. but it's okay. i'm ready to deal with the disappointment while still maintaining hope.

in other news, i'm graduating tomorrow. gadzooks. 

paper chase.

Please stand by, we've come so far
Four years, we survived the ride that turned us inside out
Repeat after me, just scream and shout
"It was the best of times from broken homes and battle scars
to where we are."

Roll it out, it's over now
We're the cast-outs with messed up friends who never did fit in
Don't care where it ends
It doesn't matter now,
As long as we're one, we'll take the next bus
Destination: Setting sun;

Graduate, paper chase,
We'll get out of this place
Don't turn around
Hit the highway, pour some liquor out for this town
Now thats all for us, its last call drink up.

stupid.

she's laura t:
a product of her only child, lutheran upbringing.
she's off to take on the world.
a pale, dark haired, awkwardly tall girl
armed with her myriad cardigans and witty comments.
oh, but the world is big and bright,
blinding and overwhelming.
will she falter?
will the sea of humanity around her drown her
until she's only a nice memory?
someone pleasant to bring, only occasionally, into thought?
will the faces she's grown accustomed to fall by the wayside?
only time will tell.

she's laura t and things are about to change.

i've got to be free.

i love that moment in this song where it starts building up to the upbeat section. i've always loved this song.

volver

i've returned from the sunny, warm beach. i'm back to my dreary world of ap exams and bleak, cloudy rain. blah. tomorrow i'm taking my ap government exam and i'm not quite sure how well i'm going to do. i've studied a little bit, but i almost feel like i had a knowledge of everything to begin with. but then, if i don't study anymore and end up messing everything up, i'll be beating myself up about it because that's what i tend to do in situations like this. i feel like michael jackson is going to pop out singing that song "you can't win" from the wiz anytime now.
(for all 2 of you who care, here's the song i'm talking about. which i just youtubed to procrastinate even further.

)
the beach was so ridiculously fun. i feel like i'm most myself when i'm on vacation lying on the beach somewhere. i just listen to my ipod, eat sammiches (yes sammiches), and feel my anglo skin being burnt to a delicate crisp. ah, delight. our motel was a little bit on the sketch side, though. it's one of those places that you can't help but feel like you're really dirty in. ew. i think i have some sort of howard hughes ocd problem now. q-u-a-r-a-n-t-i-n-e. way of the future. way of the future. show me the blueprints.

this was a crazy post. i'll be back.

beautiful.

this made me cry.

faboosh

okay. every single time i see this movie poster, i can't help but notice how incredibly ba it is. i mean just look at their facial expressions. and there's a freaking explosion behind them. and that girl's dress is adorable and i must have it. whoever made this deserves a trillion dollars in my opinion. sooooooooooo cool. and no, i haven't seen this yet. i saw casino royale and i loved daniel craig's bond so much. i need to see quantum of solace asap.

i'm officially

a terp. umd! i'm sooooooooooooo excited to get out of high school.

i was just reading all of my posts from the past (because i'm supposed to write this poem for lit class and i was hoping past laura would pull through and have a little gem for me; i was incorrect, unfortunately), and i noticed that i complain a lot on this blog. i sound really annoying in 95% of my posts. i'd like to think that i don't sound that annoying in real life. if i do, i apologize. it's the vodka. i mean what?!

i love the spring. it makes me so happy. i'm really happy right now. i'm seeing fall out boy in a week and then after that, i'm going to myrtle beach. then after that it's ap exams (okay. not so excited about that.) and graduation and then summer and life. yessssssssssss. (i'm usually opposed to the extension of words with repeating consonants, but i feel that they are necessary in this situation to convey my utter excitement over the events of these next few months). ta ta.

hello 12, hello 13, hello love. now life really begins.

this song literally takes my breath away. absolutely stunning. and this video is wonderful. i'm so in awe of the world and its ability to produce such masterpieces.

the open door

so my internet hiatus only lasted for an hour. haha. i haven't blogged in a while. lots of stuff has been happening. the show is over and i'm going to miss it more that you could ever know. but i'm strangely relieved that it's over in a way. it was a long and hard 2 weeks, that's for sure.

i think i've pretty much made my college decision. but i don't want to say anything until i commit to it. but i'm excited.

suddenly i see.

i've decided to take an internet hiatus for a couple of weeks. and by internet i mean facebook and blogger. i feel like they distract me. and i feel like i'd like to experience life unplugged again for the first time in a long time. so goodbye for now.

tonsilitis and slumdog.

i'm sick. again. why, immune system? why must you torment me with your inability to defeat the invaders that plague my system? right now, the only way i feel normal is if i take ibuprofen. i'm coming down from my last dose at the moment and i'm starting to feel the crappiness. it's run-through week and next week is tech week. fml.

on a lighter note, i saw slumdog millionaire. finally. and i loved it, of course. you'd have to be heartless to hate it. the soundtrack is one of the most amazing albums ever. period. i've been listening to it nonstop. i've decided that when i grow up, i want to be exactly like m.i.a. because she makes amazing beats and music. i love paper planes and the little ditty she does on o saya. i bought a couple of her other albums as well. she's such a creative force.

it's been a long time since i rock and rolled.

oh the busy times of spring. the music man, prom dress shopping, and casual dieting have been keeping me mighty busy. it's all downhill from here: my last full month of high school before summer, college, life, and love. you start saying to yourself "this is the last..." a lot. this is the last audition. this is the last liturgy. this is the last bac assembly. this is the last now before everything.

is anyone in the mainstream?

happy commercial greeting card holiday

i hope you eat an ungodly amount of caramels.
i hope you propose to your significant other via fortune cookie.
i hope you receive a thousand red roses.
i hope you go out to dinner to some french restaurant you can't pronounce the name of.
i hope you realize you've been in love for a long time.
i hope you use this day to love if you've not been doing so already.
i hope you listen to romeo and juliet by dire straits or the killers all day.
i hope you receive various stuffed animals.

i'll be watching romantic comedies filled with all of the things listed above.
don't mind me. i'm just er..jealous.

i'm living proof it can last a long time

today i watched mulan for the first time in forever, so be forewarned that this post may very well radiate female empowerment.

i'm sick today. when i'm sick, i tend to watch disney movies in bed, drink a lot of orange juice, play ilike music challenge, and put off doing things i should be doing. i'm a weird kind of sick. i think i have some sort of sinus thing. i'm not really stuffy stuffy per se, but i feel congestion up around my eyes. and it's annoying. my head feels pressurized like a can of pledge. similes ahoy.

in other news, i really like green tea and bishop allen.

uncharacteristic hormonal rant.

I want to fall hopelessly and irrevocably in love.
I want to wake up in the morning and know that someone, anyone cares about me.
I want to know that I'm not worthless;
that I'm not the ugly duckling I've fashioned myself to be all these years.
I'm so exhausted of being lonely.
I'm so tired of being devoid of emotion;
of putting up a front to everyone but myself.
I don't need to do that.
I'm a girl, girls cry
but I hate feeling vulnerable.

i feel senior year dissolving before my eyes.

where has the time gone? it seems like only a day ago i was starting at my high school and now, in less than 3 months, i'll be leaving it forever for bigger and better things. recently, i've been thinking about just how short of a time i'll get to spend in my familiar halls with the people i've grown to love over these last four years. i think about how i'll miss the caesar salads on mondays and my daily chorus class filled with chorus nerds. i think about all the people who have already graduated and how i'm next on the list to walk down the aisle of the cathedral to the slow pace of pomp and circumstance.

in advanced women's chorus tonight, i looked at the freshmen. they look so young. it's so hard for me to believe that i looked that young when i first came to spalding. they all have the same faces of fear mixed with the feeling of newness i knew all too well at their stage of the journey. do they know what sort of crazy ride they're in for? do they know that they should treasure the time they have at this amazing school? i honestly hope they do. because it goes by in the blink of an eye. and once you blink, it's all gone.

i love you.

:)

http://money.cnn.com/2009/01/26/news/economy/obama_energy/index.htm?postversion=2009012613

i strongly dislike

the pittsburgh steelers.

CARDINALS ALL THE WAY!

actually

i hate memories sometimes. you see things and they remind you of things you miss. and then you get that feeling. you know what i mean? that feeling in your stomach. the one that fills your whole body with pangs of almost painful warmth...because you realize you can't go back no matter how much you may want to. to right the wrongs. to do what you wanted to do all along but, for one reason or another, didn't. but sometimes, you need memories. even the bad ones. to remind you of who you are.

ann coulter is an idiot

http://perezhilton.com/2009-01-12-mann-coulter-vs-the-ladies-of-the-view-today#respond

wtf. she's a dragon lady in almost every sense of the word. i don't think she's said one important thing in her whole life. she essentially gets paid to sit on her bony ass on national television spewing unfounded, sweeping generalizations about the left. why is she famous? why does she get published? fail.

you can fall for chains of silver

you can fall for chains of gold
you can fall for pretty strangers and the promises they hold..
and there's a place for us
you know the movie song
when you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong?

i really don't

want to go to school at all tomorrow. i don't think i've ever dreaded anything more than school tomorrow. i mean, it's going to be terrible and stressful. i'm never procrastinating again. do you ever put off doing something and you justify it by being like, "laura (or whatever your name is) of the future will take care of this. there's no need to do it now. let's go watch the office for 3 hours. yay"? well, laura of the future is not too happy with laura the procrastinator of the past at the moment. and that's for sure. i mean geez. i've pretty much set myself up for failure this and next week. BLAH.

my new year's resolution(s)

you know what? i'm tired of not knowing. i'm tired of not getting what i want out of life. i'm tired of holding back. of settling. of blindly accepting. i deserve so much better than the now and i'm going to get whatever is better this year. 2009 will be the best year of my life, and i'll make it to the moon even if i have to walk. no more half assing. i'm coming out of my cage; my protected, sheltered shell of suburban existence. now, watch me fly.

so save the "hi's", "nice to meet you's", and "how are you's?". my name is laura t. and i am me from now on.

p.s. i need to go to the beach.

enter 2009

the year i'll graduate; the year i'll go to college; the year i'll legally become an adult. i don't know about you, but i'm really excited.